Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Are You A Nerd? – The “Big Bang Theory” Test . . .

Friday, May 8th, 2015

big bang

So, you think you are a nerd?

Well, prove it!

Since Bill Gates and Steve Jobs made being a nerd cool since they became billionaires, now you have to prove your nerd credentials . . .

Here’s one test – do you watch the popular show called the “Big Bang Theory”?  If you don’t, you are not a nerd – case closed.

With a title like that, no nerd could resist watching  . . .

So, assuming you have watched the show and relate to the characters – you are a nerd if you try to figure out whether the equations shown in the background on the show that Sheldon is working on are correct or not . . .

You are a really smart nerd if you know . . .

Do Sheldon’s comments about string theory and black holes along with his comments about Stephen Hawking send you to your bookshelf to see if Stephen really said that in one of his books – which, of course, you have and can reference quickly . . .

If you were, or were threatened with, being stuffed in your locker in High School by the football team, you bypass all other criteria and you’re qualified!

. . . especially if you are now over 65 now and still remember it . . .  you may not remember much else, but that incident you still remember even if you forgot what you had for lunch today . . .

Another test – we all know that E=mc2 (c squared – which I can’t find a way to type. . . )

Einstein figured that out in his 20s – along with the mathematical proof – thanks a lot Al for making the rest of us feel stupid . . .

Only a nerd would be bothered by the fact he cannot remember what the units are for this equation and what it really means . . .

So . . . you knew this was coming . . .

I decided to find out.

As a frustrated physics major in college who had to switch majors because the math was too hard . . .

We had an architecture  department that had “life drawing” classes you could get credit for attending.  “life drawing” was, in my humble 18 year old opinion, a class where you got to look at and attempt to draw, naked women!

I had found my calling.

I sucked at drawing, but loved the class – don’t remember if I actually did drawings of any of the models – the time went so fast . . .

So, back to E = mc squared . . .

– E stands for energy – measured in Joules – named by complete coincidence for a guy named Joules who figured a way to measure energy.  For the rest of us, 1 Joule is approximately the amount of energy it takes to lift an apple 1 meter.  (do NOT ask me what kind of apple . . .) Also, I mean the fruit, not the computer . . .

– the “m” stands for mass – measured in kilograms – with which anyone buying any kind of drug knows as a “kilo” . . . (2.2 pounds)

– the “c” stands for the speed of light – 186,000 miles per second – or damn fast . . . or “Warp 1” in Star Trek terminology . . .

To put this all in a perspective we all know – 1 Joule per second in energy = 1 watt.  Also amazingly coincidently named after a guy named Watt – who figured this out . . .

So 100 Joules of energy would power a 100 watt light bulb for one second.

So, working out the details of Einstein’s equation shows that energy and mass are equivalent to each other and that if you turn mass into energy, you get a big explosion.  The “Big Bang” refers to the formation of the universe – which was a really big explosion, so let’s reduce it down to something we can visualize . . .

One gram is 1/1,000 of a kilo, so Einstein’s equation when calculated out – as any nerd would do – comes out to mean that if you could convert one gram of matter into pure energy, it would power a 100 watt light bulb for 28,500 years!

Since there are 454 grams in a pound,  one pound equals enough energy to light a 100 watt bulb for 13 million years!

so, this is the mathematical proof, from Einstein no less, as to why it’s so hard to lose weight . . .

So, Do You Think You’re Good at Soccer?

Monday, July 21st, 2014


The Dog Poop Nazis

Saturday, March 29th, 2014

We haven’t had any recent posts, but this news item I can’t resist sharing . . .

I live near Boulder, Colorado, the town that has bumper stickers saying “Keep Boulder Weird”.  In support of that, the city council is hearing debate on a supremely important issue in the next couple days.

At issue is whether we should require DNA samples of all dogs in Boulder county so we can then identify those whose dogs poop without being picked up by their owners!  Of course analyzing dog poop in open space will have higher priority than analyzing rape victims attackers, but we do love our dogs . . .

dog poop

Could fecal DNA database solve Boulder’s dog waste dilemma?  

Councilwoman asks whether program would be feasible for open space use

By Erica Meltzer, Camera Staff Writer
POSTED: 03/27/2014 06:08:05 PM MDT | UPDATED: A DAY AGO

Rhea Larsen, of Portland, Ore., puts a leash on her dog Isabel after hiking at Chautuaqua in 2012. A city councilwoman has asked whether it would be

Rhea Larsen, of Portland, Ore., puts a leash on her dog Isabel after hiking at Chautuaqua in 2012. A city councilwoman has asked whether it would be feasible for Boulder to keep dogs DNA on file to compare it to waste left on area trails. (Jeremy Papasso / Daily Camera)

Off-leash dog rule changes move forward in Boulder Clay Evans: When dogs are family members Boulder’s green tag holders may be required to re-apply, take class to walk dogs off-leash Advocates for open space and Boulder officials long have lamented the difficulty of enforcing the law against people who leave dog waste along area trails.

Boulder City Councilwoman Mary Young wants to know how feasible it would be to require DNA samples from dogs with city-issued green tags that could be saved for later comparison to waste found on open space.

Young couldn’t be reached Thursday afternoon, but in a note to the City Council’s “Hotline” email list, she said a community member made the suggestion, and asked Open Space and Mountain Parks to report on the feasibility of the idea at Tuesday’s council meeting.

In the “Hotline” message, Young said the suggestion was to “require a fecal sample when dog owners apply for open space privileges or when renewing their dog licenses. The city would keep a file of the DNA and any poop samples found could be easily identified, and the owner fined accordingly.”

If You Go

What: Boulder City Council

When: 6 p.m. Tuesday

Where: Boulder Municipal Building, 1777 Broadway

Info: For more information and to read the complete agenda, go to The City Council will hold a public hearing and second vote on the changes to the green-tag program.

Such canine DNA tracking is already offered nationwide by several companies — including one that reports drastic reductions in waste in areas where dog owners know their pets’ poop can be traced.

Steve Armstead, an environmental planner with Open Space and Mountain Parks, responded to Young via the “Hotline” later Thursday, saying the city “did not consider requiring fecal samples and setting up a system to manage this type of information for the enforcement of excrement removal rules.”

He added that Open Space and Mountain Parks staff will only be able to “minimally” discuss implementing such a system at next week’s meeting.

The City Council on Tuesday is holding a public hearing and second vote on changes to Boulder’s voice and sight control program, which allows dogs that receive green tags to go off leash on some open space trails.

Those changes would require all green-tag holders — perhaps as many as 35,000 people — to reapply and take a class explaining the requirements of the program. The new rules also identify certain offenses, such as having an aggressive dog or endangering wildlife, that would result in immediate suspension of green-tag privileges until the owner could demonstrate that the dog is compliant, and raises the fines for violations.

An early iteration of the proposed changes would have had dogs lose their green-tag privileges if their owners received two tickets within two years for failure to pick up waste.

However, Open Space and Mountain Parks removed that language from the final version of the ordinance. Failure to pick up waste has no implications for green-tag privileges under the current proposal.

The prevalence of dog waste on open space trails is frequently cited as one of the most common complaints to the city, but Open Space officials said the problem extends to leashed and unleashed dogs, whereas the changes to the green-tag program have to do primarily with making sure dogs are actually under the voice control of their owners.

90 percent waste reduction

Several companies already provide a similar service to property management companies, apartment complexes and homeowners’ associations.

Eric Mayer, director of business development for BioPet Vet Lab in Knoxville, Tenn., said the company’s PooPrint service is used by private property management companies in 45 states and in Canada.

So far, the company doesn’t have contracts with any municipalities, but officials have been in talks with a half dozen different local governments. He said he expects to sign the first municipal PooPrints contract with Ipswich, Mass., sometime this year.

The process is simple, Mayer said. Owners have to register their dogs, and part of that process is a cheek swab, which costs between $30 and $50. Once a community’s dog DNA is in the database, poop samples can be compared against that database for between $60 and $75 a sample.

“What we find is that pet waste goes down by about 90 percent,” Mayer said. “You’re not going to be spending much money on waste samples because they should be picked up by the owner.”

‘It’s a ploy’

Patrick Murphy, who once earned the nickname “Pooperazzi” for his diligence in documenting dog waste on Boulder’s open space, said he’s skeptical about the proposal.

“In a perfect world, it sounds like a good idea, but since it’s not, I think there are a lot better solutions, like more rangers,” he said.

Murphy said in a community like Boulder, taking DNA samples from dogs is likely to be particularly controversial — so controversial he’s suspicious of its origins.

“Who is going to agree to let you get DNA from their dog?” he said. “It’s a ploy to say they’re crazy and extreme, which makes the other thing — the real voice and sight control — also seem crazy and extreme.”

Contact Camera Staff Writer Erica Meltzer at 303-473-1355, or




Do Not Wash Your Hair In The Shower!

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013

showerWARNING to all women readers of this blog . . . .

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!

It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!


Shampoo Warning! I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”

No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It’s label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”

Problem solved!  If I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!





Dead Man Shows Up In Court – Court Rules he’s Still Dead!?

Monday, October 14th, 2013

dead man walking
One of the strangest stories I’ve heard and the triumph of bureaucracy over common sense . . .

Living, breathing man will remain dead in the eyes of Ohio law

By Dominique Debucquoy-Dodley, CNN

updated 4:05 AM EDT, Thu October 10, 2013

“(CNN) — An Ohio man who has been legally dead since 1994 will remain so in the eyes of the law after losing his complaint to overturn his death filing, according to authorities.

Donald Miller, 61, testified Monday that he disappeared in 1986 after losing his job, leaving behind a wife, two children and thousands of dollars of unpaid child support, according to James Hammer, the attorney for Miller’s ex-wife, Robin Miller. He was declared legally dead eight years later.

Donald Miller said he returned to Ohio “around 2005” with no knowledge of his legal death, and that he had hoped to reestablish his Social Security number.

A legal statute in Ohio prevents changes to death rulings once three years have passed, Hammer told CNN, and Judge Allan Davis ruled accordingly in Hancock County Probate Court.”

Go here for the full story:



Dogs In Charge!

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

It’s time for fun!

“James . . . Home for dinner!”


dog - cool

Reminds me of the “Fonz” from “Happy Days”


dog - fonzi


 “Whas’up . . .”


dog couch

Dog Training Gone Wrong . . . (part 1)


dog training for dummies didn't work

Dog Training Gone Wrong . . . (part 2)


dog failed obedience school



We Can’t Afford A Cat!

cant afford a cat

Listen to your dog . . .